3 a.m.

It’s 3 a.m. & here I am..  Wondering how I ended up here – once again.    I didn’t intend for this to happen – at least not this time – I drove countless miles & still wound up outside your door. I know I shouldn’t be here, but I still wonder, or blindly hope that you can feel me near.

I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing, while I remembered how it felt when you reminded me how to breathe. I remembered how staring into your eyes both paralyzed me & set me free all at once.  I remembered how, in the end, I wasn’t important enough for you to bother fighting for.   And as I sat there watching your life unfold from 500 feet away, for what was probably the hundredth time, I remembered how none of this matters at all to you anymore, and maybe it never did. 

©Gina Jenkins


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