3 a.m.

It’s 3 a.m. & here I am..  Wondering how I ended up here – once again.    I didn’t intend for this to happen – at least not this time – I drove countless miles & still wound up outside your door. I know I shouldn’t be here, but I still wonder, or blindly hope that you can feel me near.

I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing, while I remembered how it felt when you reminded me how to breathe. I remembered how staring into your eyes both paralyzed me & set me free all at once.  I remembered how, in the end, I wasn’t important enough for you to bother fighting for.   And as I sat there watching your life unfold from 500 feet away, for what was probably the hundredth time, I remembered how none of this matters at all to you anymore, and maybe it never did. 

©Gina Jenkins

Reflection 

Some nights you stare blindly into the mirror…terrified of what’s staring back at you. 

What’s worse…?

Wondering if this is truly the life you wanted? Or questioning it in the first place?